SEC Strikes Again

The United States Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has decided to kick off the week with a bang. They’ve charged crypto lending firm Genesis Global Capital and the crypto exchange Gemini for, wait for it, selling unregistered securities through the Gemini ‘Earn’ program. It seems that the crypto world can never have a dull moment!

Ooki DAO Faces Default Judgement

What’s more? The Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) is raising its gavel against Ooki DAO. After missing the deadline to respond to a lawsuit, the CFTC is now on the hunt for a default judgment. What a way to drown in paperwork!

Raids and Accusations Across Asia

Meanwhile, in South Korea, Bithumb’s headquarters are under siege as tax agents raid the place looking for any whiff of tax evasion (what a surprise!). This follows the recent acquittal of former chair Lee Jung-Hoon of a towering $70 million fraud charge. Over in Bulgaria, the police are having their own fun raiding crypto lending firm Nexo – fingers crossed no one flees the scene dressed as a block of Bitcoin!

Good News Amidst the Madness

On a brighter note, bankrupt crypto lender Voyager Digital has finally received the green light from the court to sell its assets to Binance.US for a cool $1.02 billion. Yes, you heard that right! This news is backed by the Voyager Official Committee of Unsecured Creditors, who believe this deal would give creditors a better shot than if Voyager decided to liquidate everything and turn it into a crypto fire sale. Talk about silver linings!

The Environmental Dilemma of Crypto

In another exciting turn of events, environmentalists have decided that New York’s approval of a crypto mining facility is worthy of a lawsuit. The Clean Air Coalition and the Sierra Club are crying foul over the potential environmental impact of the Fortistar North power plant’s transformation into a crypto mining haven. They argue that while the plant used to work only when demand was high, crypto mining would have it running around the clock, leading to a jaw-dropping increase in greenhouse gas emissions – a whopping 3,000%! If only the plant could run on good intentions, right?

FTX Follies Continue

The ongoing FTX drama just keeps piling on like a bad soap opera. Former engineering chief Nishad Singh seems to be playing nice with federal prosecutors as he attempts to cut a deal. His predecessor, Brett Harrison, had some choice words for Sam Bankman-Fried, characterizing his manipulative methods and executive panic attacks in moments of conflict as ‘total insecurity and intransigence’. Who knew that navigating a crypto empire could feel like playing dodgeball? Luckily for FTX, a judge has given the nod to sell off some key assets, including the derivatives platform LedgerX – let’s just hope creditors don’t end up with socks in their holiday stockings.