Karpelès vs. Bankman-Fried: A Tale of Two CEOs
In the ever-turbulent sea of cryptocurrency scandals, two names keep surfacing: Mark Karpelès, the erstwhile captain of the sunken ship Mt. Gox, and Sam Bankman-Fried, the man navigating troubled waters at FTX. As Bankman-Fried seeks some form of online connection—or lack thereof—from the bars of his cell, Karpelès has a few words to share, and trust me, you won’t want to miss them.
Throwback: Karpelès’ Dark Days
Karpelès, who knows a thing or two about hitting rock bottom (and then digging a little deeper), was arrested twice in 2015 for allegedly playing fast and loose with $3 million of Mt. Gox customer funds. In a recent post, he humorously reminisced about his own incarceration, stating, “When I was arrested back in 2015, the most computing power I got was a simple calculator (+-*/√).” Talk about having to simplify your life!
Calculator Chronicles: The Unsung Hero
While some might wallow in self-pity, Karpelès took his fate into his own hands, quite literally. Armed with a trusty calculator purchased from the prison commissary for $120 (yes, criminals need gadgets too), he tackled the challenge of defending himself with that humble device.
He took a whopping 20,000 pages of evidence, boiled it down to a complex eight-page file, and discussed how, “I spent around $120 to buy the best calculator they had, which could do additions, subtractions, multiplications and divisions, square roots for some reason, and had buttons to add/remove consumption tax.” That’s right folks, Karpelès wasn’t just surfing the waves of despair—he was crunching numbers!
Advice for Bankman-Fried: Just Get a Calculator!
As Bankman-Fried’s legal team seeks a mercy release due to what they claim is inadequate internet access for trial prep, Karpelès’ reflections could serve as a lesson. Perhaps he should suggest the calculator instead of Wi-Fi?
“If only I had had the internet resources you have now, I could have closed down a few mining operations or something.” And who knows? Maybe that would have fared better in court!
Legal Labyrinths: The Trials Ahead
However, as Bankman-Fried readies for not one, but two trials this coming October and March, he may want to heed the words of a fellow crypto captain who survived the storm. In the end, Karpelès was cleared of all charges thanks to his unassuming, little calculator and hard work from his lawyers. “All thanks to that little calculator,” he quipped, hinting that maybe—just maybe—the key to freedom is simply doing the math right.
“I spent a total of 11 months and 15 days in pre-trial detention… all thanks to my trusty calculator.”
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