The New Bail Orders
It seems like the legal drama surrounding Sam Bankman-Fried has escalated to a new technological level. U.S. District Judge Lewis Kaplan greenlighted the installation of surveillance software on the cell phones of Bankman-Fried’s parents. This decision was made to ensure that the FTX co-founder doesn’t pull any fast ones while awaiting his trial.
Software Shenanigans
Initially, his defense team proposed a rather ambitious surveillance approach: a software that would snap a photo of the user every five minutes. One might want to pause and consider – who wouldn’t get a little camera-shy under such scrutiny?
However, as reality set in, they reported back to the court that the software would be logging keystrokes instead. Talk about a stellar downgrade! Sounds like they might have to change Bankman-Fried’s alias from ‘SBF’ to ‘Snoop Big Brother.’
What’s Being Monitored?
Bankman-Fried’s parents’ mobile activities are about to get a whole lot of attention. The software will track:
- Keystrokes on the devices
- Inappropriate app installations
- Internet browsing history
- iMessage communications
- All outgoing calls and FaceTimes
It’s like giving his parents a side gig as unpaid tech support while also acting as de facto bail officers!
Consultants, Warnings, and the Garden of Tech
Judge Kaplan wasn’t just throwing out random orders; he pointed out that Bankman-Fried had a ‘garden of electronic devices’ at his parents’ home. It sounds more like a tech hobbyist’s paradise than a bail location. Kaplan expressed credible concerns that the accused might attempt to tamper with witnesses – hence the strict measures in place. Bankman-Fried was even allegedly trying to connect with a former FTX attorney, which is really putting the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional.
The Sibling Spin on Family Support
In a related twist, Bankman-Fried’s parents have willingly agreed to limit his access to tech devices, signing affidavits to steer clear of any prohibited gadgets. Talk about a family intervention: “If you’re going to be a fraudster, at least do it without all the bells and whistles, Sam!” But let’s be real, who can resist a smartphone? They’ve also restricted his use of VPNs, especially after he was caught using one potentially to wiggle out of oversight.
A Sticky Situation
As this ordeal unfolds, the stakes increase. It feels like a TV drama where the son’s behavior keeps leading the plot into chaos, with clutch action scenes involving relentless legal maneuvers and high-tech spying. What’s next? A reality show? “Keeping Up with the Bankman-Frieds”? Don’t miss the season finale, folks!
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